Thursday, June 09, 2005

Enough already about the stupid Qurans!

Now the Israelis are accused of tearing the pages of a Quran.

How absurd is this?! Arab women can walk into a crowded restaurant and blow people to smithereens, but if a page in a Quran is torn somewhere it makes global news?! Palestinian teenagers strap explosives to their bodies, climb onto a bus, and blow themselves and everyone on board sky high, and we get outrage that a Quran is "defaced" somewhere on the frickin' planet?! I swear to God, this is the most infuriatingly absurd crap I've ever heard! This is even more stupid than decrying panties on a terrorist's head at Abu Ghraib when civilian heads are literally being sawn off in full view!!

Can I get any radical Muslim volunteers to
rampage upon viewing this "desecration"?

The militant Islamic Jihad on Wednesday presented pictures of torn copies of the Islamic holy book, the Quran, claimed they were taken inside an Israeli prison and said soldiers were responsible for the desecration. Israel denied the charge and said the pictures were a fabrication.

"Presented"? To whom? A reporter of course. As if anyone but the mentally disordered care! Really - first of all, who gives a flyin' rip? Everyone knows these "atrocities" are regularly staged events. These prisoners deface their own Qurans in an attempt to set someone up. I'm still waiting for them to get struck by Allah's lightning, but so far, no such luck. And second of all, what if it DID happen? Will someone please grow a pair of balls and say, "Yep - we did it, and who gives a damn?"

It's enough to make me go out and buy a Quran just to tear it up and "present" it as toilet paper in my local BBQ dive. [Hey, I just did a quick check on eBay. Did you know that you can buy an official "Holy Quran" for $14.95 and less? And there's some antique 17th century Quran crap starting at a mere $50. There's even a few No Reserve penny auctions for this "holy" stuff. Tsk. Tsk. Some Muslims aren't revering their "holy" stuff very well, if they're peddling it online in the Great Satan's favorite flea market!]

This makes me ponder...I'd like to take a moment to earnestly suggest a universal 'Deface a Quran' Day - kinda like 'Hug a Tree' Day, but a lot more fun. They're cheap...they're everywhere...we could even have a universal cook-out...I'll bring the BBQ pork...
Sorry, just thinkin' out loud.

The Islamic Jihad transmitted the pictures by e-mail to a reporter in the West Bank. They show two Qurans with torn pages. The militants said prisoners took the pictures with cellular telephones sent them electronically to militant leaders.

OK, ignoring the fact that the idiot reporter thought this was news, I have to ask: how the hell do prisoners in an Israeli prison in Megiddo have camera phones - with working cellular service, no less?! Come to think of it, how come Megiddo gets working cellular service inside prison cells, but I can't get cell service inside an office building in downtown Houston?

The militants said Wednesday that soldiers desecrated six or seven Qurans as they searched Palestinian prisoners' cells... The prisoners were outside the cells at the time but could see what was going on, the Islamic Jihad militants said.

And we're supposed to believe it straight up. Or should we hold our breath while the radical Muslims of the world unite to rampage through the streets again, killing their own people? Come to think of it...if we stage enough 'Deface a Quran' days, maybe the rioting radical Muslim thing will take care of itself...

The [Israeli] authority showed reporters the book they said was at the center of the affair. The pages that were replaced were larger than those in the rest of the book, and the Prisons Authority concluded the whole matter was a fabrication by the Palestinian prisoners.

"They have staged things like this in the past," [a Prisons Authority official] said. "This is staged."

*yawn* Yes, yes, of course it was.

The pictures transmitted Wednesday showed Qurans with several pages torn in the middle. It was impossible to tell from the pictures themselves where they were taken or when.

Oooh - a deep, dark mystery. Yeah, and I'm all a-quiver to "unearth the truth".

Enough already about the stupid Qurans!

Militants Display Pictures of Torn Qurans