Monday, April 11, 2005

I'm a genius!

Our federal prison system is clogged - there's no denying that. So I have devised a solution that will not only unclog the system, but lower the crime rate, and ADD $3.11 BILLION of taxpayer funds BACK INTO the annual federal budget! And if we followed my sage advice for state and local prisons, too, the taxpayer savings would triple!

It's simple, it's ingenious, and I thought of it all by myself...

First let's take a look at the hard facts:

This week our total federal prison population totals 182,101. 58,420 of those inmates are Hispanic. 68.7% of the Hispanic inmates are ILLEGAL! Furthermore, over 28% of the total prison population are illegal aliens!

American taxpayers currently pay about $60,000 per year to imprison, clothe, feed, and educate each inmate.

The budgetary expense for 51,855 illegals lounging around our prisons = $3,111,300,000 per year.


Summarily deport all illegal alien inmates BACK to their own countries, where they will serve the remainder of their sentences.

Permanently BAR them from ever entering the country again.


1) America TELLS these other countries that we WILL return their criminals. (We don't ASK - we DEMAND - using all the diplomatic tools of sanctions, trade embargos, etc. at our disposal)
a) Binding agreements will be drafted to ensure that the crimes which the illegal aliens committed against our society, and their accompanying sentences, will be upheld in the native country.
b) Dissent is not an option.

2) Announce that to alleviate the strain on their native justice system and prison infrastructure, America will generously send multiple large corporations (that previously hired illegal workers to cut costs) to direct the construction of new prison facilities - at the native country's expense, of course. Administrative employees will even stay in-country to consult on the prison management and justice system to facilitate the influx of their criminal citizenry. (More jobs - yay!)

3) Enforce our own US borders and immigration laws, and implement a reasonable check system whereby criminals from other countries are permanently refused entry into the US.

4) Increase Border Security so that the flow of aliens entering our country illegally is choked, thereby reducing the chance that an alien criminal can enter .

Voila! Save more than $3.11 billion dollars per year of taxpayer money, eliminate prison overcrowding, lower the crime rate, and create jobs with one huge bold move!

Special note to naysayers of my radical but monumental idea:

**Since our problems have been our own creation, they also can be overcome. - George Harrison

**Always listen to the experts. They will tell you what can't be done, and why. Then go do it. - Robert A. Heinlein

**Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not "eff" it after all. - Author unknown

And finally, extra-wise words from a determined President Roosevelt at Pearl Harbor:

"Don't tell me it can't be done!"